INSECURITY…….Is Killing My Relationships!!

INSECURITY…….Is Killing My Relationships!! By Priyanka Chahande

"Did you mean to say I am cheating on you? I am breaking your trust?” I asked

“Yes you are!! Then what was the reason behind that? What you were doing with that guy, yesterday evening?” He asked me

(Rather than asking, I should say he was shouting at me…without listening to me)

“Yes I was with him. He came to meet me because he wanted to discuss about his lost job, as he was so depressed…(in between he stopped me..and started shouting..)

“Why he wanted to discuss his job problems with you? Why?” he shouted

“Will you please stop shouting..please calm down. Today I came here to share with this with you only…(again in between he stopped me..)

“Why today? Why didn’t you told me yesterday night, when we were talking? What are you hiding from me? He asked me

“Yesterday night you were so happy, when you were talking about your new project. I didn’t want to spoil it. And for this only, to tell you..to share with you..I called you to meet me urgently” I tried to explain and to make him calm down.

“If you are so concern about my happiness then, why you went to meet him? He asked

“He called me day before yesterday and over the phone he was sounding so sad and dejected and then I told him to meet me..and tell me what’s the matter” I said

“Oh! You called him to meet!! Why? Why suddenly he became so important to you?” He asked

“You know sweetheart, he is my friend from school time and as a friend he is important…and” (he stopped me)

“If he is your friend and so important to you then, who am I? What am I doing here? Tell me” he asked

“Why are you talking like this? You too are important to me..you are eternal part of my life…my love…for me both relations are different..please listen to me…you are more important to me”

(I had tears in my eyes while saying this, I just felt, he will leave me….! Why it become so difficult to prove your love to “your love”)

“Yes, I am listening…say” he said

“No, you are not listening to me….you are not listening what my heart, my emotions, my each drop of tears are saying to you. Your temper had just closed ears of your heart…that heart, which is always ready to listen to me” I said

“Yes, I am angry with you. You called him to meet and you are telling me this after all this has happened…now why you need to tell me?” again he started shouting

“Sweetheart at that moment, whatever came to my mind I did. But there was no such thought of hiding anything from you” I told him

“Ok, but still my question to you is the same…why you met him? Why??” He shouted

“I told you the whole truth..why you are not believing me sweetheart? What is bothering you?” I asked him

“He is bothering me…your friend…I don’t like when he is around you, I don’t like when you care for him, I don’t like when you share your love with anyone..all these are bothering me. And now if you are so concern about him, you are free to leave me and if I am so important to you then, you leave him. Now you have to decide, whom you will choose…your love or your friendship”

He said and left me alone in the CCD to think, to take decision, to choose between love and friendship. I never tried to mix them. I was sitting there..with tears in my eyes, pain in my heart..i totally became numb.

I felt like my heart is going to break in parts. There is fight in between, who will have this heart love or friendship. For me, both I need..both my heart wants…my brain was not ready to answer anything…now alone my heart was there in between the fight of love and friendship.

I thought what came in between these two…my love and my friendship? Because of whom I am on this path where I need to choose between one? What it is? And that time my brain replied “it is Insecurity..which is killing both relations”

Yes it was insecurity…which came in between. Sometimes it is good…because of it you feel protected by someone, cared by someone but yes this insecurity sometimes turns into evil also..which will create fights..which will makes you apart from each other..which will leave you on a path buddle full of questions with no clue for a single answer…which will finally start killing your relations.